Dirk Tourette from the Towers of London was nice enough to fill in one of Rare FM's special questionnaires. His answers are in bold.

I'm famous because I am.

I look a bit like this:

I love The Stones but not as much as The Beatles.

In the morning I always need to sit down as I pee.

In the night I think of Chuck Berry.

I hope Frankie goes to Hollywood.

I couldn't live without [answer crossed out by interviewee].

My favourite time is when I drink because it's sick.

I am the most moody when I'm hungry and my remedy is food.

I would never become a tosser.

I would only try eating sick if somebody paid me £1,000,000.

It bothers me if someone [no answer given] while [no answer given].

If I had £100,000,000 I would give it to charity.

I fancy someone like this: