Shows > The All New Jimmy Jazz Show!

Sunday night, 8pm means everybody gather round the interweb box, tune it to Rarefm.co.uk and listen – its fun time hour. 60 minutes of four minute fun size portions of fun, more fun than when Pat Sharpe opened up the Fun House to Fun Boy Three. Because 8pm Sunday means... the Jimmy Jazz show!

Featuring such ludicrous features as:

The Utterly Contrived Random Animal Fighting Generator: We have the world's largest supercomputer for completely pointless research (thanks NASA!) at our disposal to pick two utterly random animals under completely contrived situations to, you guessed it, fight. Who would win such unbelievably stupid fight? You decide. And remember, the most plausible answer will win a hill's-worth-of-invisible magic beans.

Jokes my Boyfriend Hates: Producer Ailsa delves into her considerable knowledge of jokes that made her boyfriend go “well, yeah, that really wasn't funny.”

Love in Da Club: Rn'B superstar Usher takes Jimmy Jazz for a trip round London, showing him all the places he like to make love. Normally, in clubs. Big clubs, small clubs, knitting clubs, book clubs, bowling clubs, newt-fancying clubs; our Usher doesn't discriminate.

The Lionel Ritchie Wikipedia roulette: Ever opened up Wikipedia and decided you wanted to live dangerously? Did you press Random Article hoping for enlightenment but were confronted with the an incredibly banal piece of information? What would have happened if the page that came up was instead the most exciting thing possible, such as the Wikipedia entry for the Moustachioed Lord of Love, Lionel Ritchie? Surely that would have caused such an imbalance in the cosmos such that you might have been sucked into the mind of Lionel Ritchie, a la Dr Samuel Beckett in the early nighties Sci-Fi classic, Quantum Leap. Join us while we try to make the final leap home, into Lionel Ritchie. Or, at a push, Craig David.

Travels With My Twister Mat: Book of the week on the Jimmy Jazz show. John Sparrow was a champion twister player who had the world at his (very flexible) fingertips. But then in the final round of the World All Comers Twister Championship, something went very wrong. Without warning, everything collapsed and his great rival, Phillipe Donga, almost died. Shunned from the sport he loved and racked with guilt, John travelled to the far side of the world to start again. Suddenly, five years later, everything was brought back into focus when Alfonso, the local bar tender, had a new delivery. It was a shiny new Twister Mat...

Lexicon of Love: Regular guest Andy “Shabba” Grant answers your relationship related queries. So far, a large proportion appear to be from a certain someone called Kerry who has a thing for turkey twizzlers, potato waffles and crispy Findus fish surprise. All washed down with vodka, natch.

Multi-Coloured Sunday Night Swap-Shop: Get rid of your unwanted presents at the Jimmy Jazz swap-shop. Tell us why you don't want it (a romantic gift of a toilet brush from boyfriend to girlfriend, for example) and we'll try to find someone who does want it (someone who has a very dirty toilet, but with out the tools to clean it, for example). Top swap so far: a “Thigh Master”.

Michael Jackson's Animal Underwater Orchestra: We have it on good authority that, if Michael Jackson gets stage fright at the O2, a team of especially trained animals will come on stage and perform his songs. The sheer bizarreness of it all will detract from the fact that MJ is out the back gibbering away. But what would such an orchestra sound like? Especially if it was to feature underwater monkeys, for example? Well, if you can do a good impression of an animal, either land or water, singing a Michael Jackson song, the job could be yours. Underwater monkeys especially encouraged to apply.

A Day in the Life Of... Join such celebrity singer-songwriters as Chris Martin, Dido and James Blunt as they confront everyday tasks such as crossing the road or eating cornflakes and infuse it with such meaning, such passion and such metaphor it is will have you either crying or getting very angry indeed.

Jimmy Jazz sings! Despite being blessed with a singing voice that is so bad he could make the comedy /freakathon section of X-factor feel quite content, Jimmy Jazz will quite happily rewrite a song and sing it if current news items demand it: such as Candle in The Wind (2009), rewritten for Woolworths and Snow's “Informer” rewritten as “Obama”....